Introducing the newest branch of FatChanceBellyDance®: ‘Tribal Counsel’ providing business consultation, developing healthy troupe dynamics and offering tools for resolving conflict.
In early 2010, I took a 40-hour course in Mediation with Community Boards in San Francisco. I learned some valuable lessons that I would like to share with you. Mediation allows the people who are having a conflict to create their own resolution. Impossible you say? Not really. I realized that it's like ATS®. We have steps and formations that everyone agrees to, music that is a familiar format, and we all want the same outcome-a great show. I'm will be utilizing this new skill to offer a new service, Tribal Counsel. I will make myself available to dancers (troupes, individuals) who are "stuck" and need help with business consultation, developing healthy troupe dynamics and tools for resolving conflict. It's not legal counsel or any sort of psychotherapy and it's 100% confidential. You talk, I listen and we create a solution that works for you.
If both parties in a dispute are willing to talk, then we will mediate. If for whatever reason, only one party is available to talk, then I will offer “Conflict Coaching.” Through conflict coaching, you will gain a deeper understanding of your own conflict style and your personal skills in handling a conflict. As a result, you may see your situation from a new perspective, learn to effectively engage in conflict, rebuild damaged relationships and manage future interpersonal connections.
Talk to me. I can be reached via email or phone to discuss your situation and set up an appointment. I can meet with you in person if location permits, or we can set up a Skype video call, or conference call for a group. Fees are $60 for the first hour and $20 for each additional hour. Most meetings are 2 hours long with the potential for a follow up call.
Here are a few tips to ponder if you are in conflict right now:
90% of the time, people respond to what you say or do from their perspective. Meaning that they are filtering what you say or do through their own lens. For example, you tell someone that you've just dyed your hair a new color and you love it. You are expecting them to join you in the celebration! But instead they say "I hate colored hair, it looks so phony." You are crushed, assuming that they think your hair looks bad, but in reality they are saying that when they've tried to color their hair, it hasn't turned out the way they intended. Now your feelings are hurt and all future conversations with this person are strained.
However, 100% of the time you are in control of your response to what people say or do. Meaning that you can make a conscious decision not to make a knee-jerk judgement when someone says something that you perceive as offensive. It takes a bit of practice, but you will train yourself (or in my case, elect to meditate on it everyday!) not to look for the negative.
Employ the offensive by letting negative comments just slide by. Similar to martial arts where you see a blow coming and just step aside, letting the attacker throw their energy away. For example, you are teaching a class and a student makes a comment about the way you just did a Pivot Bump, your head was bouncing when you told them the head stays level.. Instead of getting defensive, trying saying, "I know! Sometimes a bounce too much! That's why I'm mentioning it to you, good catch!"
Topics for thought
One-on-one personalized coaching to solve a problem or air out an issue.
How to start a dance studio
Branding your business (How to utilize your Sister Studio status to promote your business)
How to connect to the resources in your area
What are the benefits and struggles with merchandising
How to start a troupe (what to think about before you send the invitations!)
To audition or not?
Director vs. Collective Model- lessons learned from experience
Establishing troupe guidelines
How to make decisions within a troupe
Conflict resolution skills for your troupe
Conflict Resolution Toolkit:
How to handle difficult people (students, troupe mates, colleagues, employers)
Discord among studios- planning for regional success
How to identify and handle the unique conflicts that arise in dance